How do We Balance Social Expectations and Personal Fulfillment?
Welcome to my first post on The Pedaling Poet blog! This is one of the best essays I'd written in my senior year of high school, and I thought some people might be interested in reading it. In the future, I'll be posting more school projects, in addition to new and original essays, opinion pieces, short stories, and spontaneous ideas. Thanks for reading, and enjoy your stay in my corner of the Blogosphere!
One of the defining characteristics of the human condition, and one that sets us apart from the various semi-sentient animals on our planet, is our ability to set and achieve long-term goals. Almost every living creature understands short-term goals: find food; stay warm; avoid predators; etc. However, humans have developed the practice of goal-setting into a more abstract and far-reaching concept: we can imagine an outcome in the distant future, and through a combination of planning and sequential action steps, realize our personal visions or achieve remarkable feats of human ingenuity. The ability to set and pursue goals has enabled us to create and accomplish great things, but societal pressure to set unattainable or unreasonable goals can have the opposite effect: wasting one's time and energy working towards an outcome you never truly wanted.
In American culture, there is a collection of goals in life that have been pursued and perpetuated by the majority of people within the society. These goals follow a linear progression, and represent a series of key steps that purportedly lead to the realization of the 'American Dream'. These steps include: learning to read at the youngest possible age; getting the best grades in school; taking 'honors' classes just because they look good on a diploma; getting into the high school dating scene as soon as possible (and potentially being shamed or ridiculed by your peers if you do not find a partner quickly); transferring into one of the top 10 universities just after graduating high school; earning a degree in a well-respected academic field (usually law, medicine, or STEM); finding a high-paying white collar job that involves the skills you learned in your degree; owning a luxurious car (or two!) that shows off your wealth and status; climbing the corporate ladder as high as you can go; getting married; buying a large house, preferably in an affluent suburb; having one or more children; setting your kids up to follow the same path you did (possibly by enabling them financially); and finally, achieving your ultimate goal in life: retiring early and spending the rest of your living days being unproductive.
These goals are nearly ubiquitous in middle- and upper-class American society, and have been traditionally portrayed as the ideal way of life by most of our literature, arts, and mainstream media. However, the American Dream is not a 'one size fits all' method to living a good life. Because the Dream and it's ideals are so pervasive in our culture, lots of people aspire to follow it, usually without even stopping to think about whether or not they actually want the lifestyle that society expects them to have. As a result, far too many individuals end up on a personal trajectory that, despite being lauded as "the best way to live", only leads them further astray from their true desires and aspirations.
The small [but growing] number of Americans who choose to live by their own goals instead of those codified by the American Dream are often labeled by mainstream society as radical, abnormal, or in the age of McCarthyism, "communist". However, these individuals often feel a stronger sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in their lives than those who try to follow the Dream. By setting our own goals, we take back the authority over our lives, rather than giving it away to the culture that surrounds us. This allows us to truly do what makes us happy, no matter how 'weird' or 'unconventional' it may seem. A common deathbed regret is "I wish I'd done more of what I enjoyed in life", and the best way to accomplish that before death is to set your own goals [and achieve them as much as you can]. For example, if you don't plan on working in one of the STEM fields, don't get a STEM-related degree. Study whichever subjects you truly love and are passionate about, and find meaningful work that uses those skills effectively (or start your own business if you prefer to work for yourself). Or if a college education won't get you closer to your goals in life, don't waste your time and money one one! When we define our own standards of success rather than letting others define them for us, we can truly achieve a life of contentment and fulfillment.
I personally believe in setting my own goals, and I do my best to avoid letting others' opinions influence them. My standard of success is defined as generating enough income to cover my living costs and fund my hobbies, while having enough free time to travel frequently, express myself artistically, and indulge in recreational pursuits. The work I do must be non-stressful (and preferably enjoyable), and there must be a clear purpose to my occupation (besides "just earning money"). Fair trade, honesty, and social/ecological responsibility are some of the ethics I value most in business, and I will search for companies who are aligned with these principles whenever I seek employment. I also intend to experiment with various entrepreneurial ventures throughout my life, though mostly as side projects.
My ultimate goal in life is to express myself as authentically as possible, and share my philosophies (including this one you're reading about right now!) and ideas with the world. I communicate these ideas through writing, poetry, and music, and I hope to someday publish books, give speeches, and play at concerts. Currently, I've been writing and compiling poems for future publication, composing instrumental music, learning how to write songs, and continuing to practice the guitar. I have also established this blog, which provides me with an additional opportunity to recount my experiences and commentate on current events or subjects that interest me.
Aside from creative self-expression, my other primary goal is to visit, experience, and learn from as many different cultures as I can. Being a mixed-race person raised in a multicultural family, I've always been interested in understanding the various groups of people around the world. Even within a given country, there can be so much regional diversity, and it's fascinating to see how seemingly disparate cultures may interact with each other and/or share common elements. I can then apply some of the ideas I learned from other cultures to my own creations, enabling me to express myself in ways that wouldn't been possible within the cultural constraints of my own society.
In conclusion: Swimming against the proverbial current of mainstream society's expectations is almost never easy, but it can lead to places and opportunities never seen by those who go with the flow of tradition. Setting my own goals and forging a new path through the landscape of life is the best way for me to achieve my desired outcomes of being financially independent and expressing my ideas authentically.
In conclusion: Swimming against the proverbial current of mainstream society's expectations is almost never easy, but it can lead to places and opportunities never seen by those who go with the flow of tradition. Setting my own goals and forging a new path through the landscape of life is the best way for me to achieve my desired outcomes of being financially independent and expressing my ideas authentically.