When Should We List Our Pronouns Alongside Our Names?

In today’s social climate, I’m one of the increasingly rare individuals who believes that it’s okay (and arguably natural) to presume a person’s pronouns based on their physical appearance, if none were specified. The majority of humans are still cisgender, and that ratio is unlikely to significantly change. It's also equally acceptable to correct someone who refers to you by a pronoun that you don’t identify with, or to inform them that you use a set of neo-pronouns (which includes anything beyond the common he, she, and they). I also think it’s a good idea to list one’s pronouns alongside their name in professional settings, especially in the social sciences, psychological fields, or anywhere else where gender identity (or just extra-clear communication) is particularly important to the occupation. Alternatively, appending a prefix such as Mr., Ms., or Mx. to your name serves the same purpose of identifying your gender (by which your pronouns can be inferred). Doctors, professors, and anyone else who goes by a title or rank should still list their pronouns, since “Dr.”, “Prof.” “Capt.”, and similar titles are genderless on their own.

However, listing pronouns may not necessarily be as crucial on internet forums or social media, depending on what kind of media you're socializing over. If your username is a pseudonym and you don't post pictures of yourself, then your gender becomes entirely irrelevant. That is, unless you’re interacting with a gender-specific group/club/forum, posting material that only applies to a certain gender (women’s or men’s health, for example), or discussing gender-related social issues. Conversely, if you’re known by your real name online and/or post pictures of yourself, then listing your pronouns becomes slightly more important, especially if your physical appearance resembles a gender other than the one you identify as (or does not clearly exemplify a particular gender). This can help to improve communication and reduce confusion, especially among people who may not know much about you.

When the majority of users on a particular social network list their pronouns alongside their usernames, a positive side effect may also occur: it becomes nearly impossible to quickly differentiate cisgender and transgender individuals based on their listing of pronouns (unless additional information is present). This can serve as a collective shield against anti-trans cyberbullying, and some online social spaces encourage pronoun-listing for this reason. If you are a member of such a forum, consider following their guidelines for the good of your community.

Ultimately, the decision to list or not list your pronouns alongside your name is as much of a personal choice as selecting the pronouns you identify with. Some people prefer to let the world know how they should be referred to, while others (myself included) may prefer to let people presume their pronouns, and simply correct anyone who is mistaken. Whichever approach you choose, it's completely valid, and neither one is more 'proper' than the other. Certain social spaces and environments may warrant the listing of pronouns, while others may not, and conventions will vary from place to place. Wherever you are, do what makes you feel safest and most comfortable with the people around you, and always remember: no matter what others might think of you, what really matters is that you know who you are and stay true to yourself.